Love is Kind and Full of Grace!

Today is our wedding anniversary, which always gets me pondering over our happy moments with rose colored glasses about the bliss of married life. Yet, it also makes me realize that I'm not just grateful for our blissful days (yep, I'm grateful for the turbulent ones too).

I'm grateful for the moments that challenge me to rise up to be a better wife and meet my husband right where he is so that I can love him better. So often, we try to change our spouse to be who we WANT them to be. Yet, when we do this, we diminish who they are and communicate to them that their best just isn't 'good enough'. Ouch, that must really feel awful. When we put that shoe on the other foot and give our spouse a moment of full (genuine) empathy, suddenly our criticism doesn't feel so fair or even necessary at all sometimes. I mean, I know how I feel when someone belittles me for being who I am and I also know that I am grateful (and more open to love) when someone appreciates me for being authentically myself.

When we constantly come down on our spouse for not being who or how we THINK they should be, we forget to admire who they already are and we can't love and respect them fully under these conditions. I admit (regrettably, but in full transparency) that I too am guilty of this sometimes. Yet I am grateful when I catch myself doing it so that I can stop my self-imposed (and often unrealistic) standards and really evaluate if they are coming from a place of love, necessity or grace. Only then can I humbly change my lens of view to see my husband for the wonderful man that he really is. Perfect? No. Far from it. Still wonderful and the peanut butter to my jelly? You betcha!

In moments like these, I am always reminded that my husband is already EXACTLY who I needed him to be the whole time and  who I fell in love with in the first place. I am also reminded that the idea of trying to change others selfishly feels unloving and therefore, suddenly less appealing. I'll take him, just as God made him (perfectly imperfect). 

Cherish your spouse, quirks and all. THAT'S the good stuff right there.